I have a story to tell, just like you, and I feel it’s finally time to share mine.
My name is Kaylynn. I love Oreo cookies, camping, listening to podcasts, and I’m a Mormon.
I live in Melbourne Australia with my husband and two kiddos. I grew up in Salt Lake City, Utah. They say that Utah is the Mecca of Mormons, I don’t know about that but Utah is special to me.
I grew up in the LDS church and I am proud to say I am a 5th generation LDS member. However, I have not always been the strong member I am today. When I was about 15-years-old, my family just stopped going to church one day.
Tragedy and mishap were no strangers to my family and well, we just ‘fell out of the practice’ of going to church. It can happen just like that. So easy—too easy, without even realizing what has happened. Some of you may have gone through this yourself or are still going through it.
Ok, fast forward um, thirty years…these are very important years and I’ll come back to them (inside my blog posts), I promise, but for now just stay with me…
I had been an inactive member of the church for about twenty years, but Mormonism was still in my heart. I know this because…
- I still sang primary songs—I taught them to my kids and husband,
- I kept my patriarchal blessing safe in a journal—and still read it sometimes (although it was hard—a reminder of what I couldn’t have),
- I went to the Melbourne Temple open house back in 2000… (my loving wretched unbeliever came with me),
- and I longed to be inside the walls of an LDS church building, mingling with the members. Anytime we drove past the church near us and saw the parking lot full of cars on a Sunday, I wanted to be in there, taking the sacrament with them.
As the years went on, I stumbled into my own mishaps and tragedies and slowly I became invisible to myself. Forgetting about all the things that made me smile. I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted. I felt unworthy of anything, even my husband’s love. I cried a lot.
But in 2010 things took a big turn in my life. I crashed hard with a thud, at the feet of depression and I let it take me because I didn’t know what I needed to fight for.
When you’re at the bottom, there is only one way to go… and I needed help to get there. Through therapy, I discovered things about myself I never knew. It shocked me but slowly I began to heal and it was only then that I realized, I had been spiritually starving myself. With some of the ‘old’ Kaylynn back, I set off to find my own testimony.
This is my blog| These are my stories | I am the Melbourne Mormon.